I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
