I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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