There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
