the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
