6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
