i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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