You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
