so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
