i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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