I'm jealous of your bromance
Please, let me fuck your mom
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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