i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
