fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
