it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
