What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
