so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
