i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
