Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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