What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
