The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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