Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize