I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
