I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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