I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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