Jerry, you need to find god
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
