East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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