Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
