After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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