Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
