This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize