i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
