Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize