I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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