she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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