New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
