Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
