Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
