I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
