the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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