so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize