Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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