I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
