i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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