Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize