I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
