Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Randomize
