yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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