Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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