Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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