I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
