Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
