singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
