brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My hand turned me down
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
