is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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