So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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