Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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(+43): View more from

After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.

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(804): View more from Virginia

He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.

(703): View more from Virginia

OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana

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(530): View more from California

He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull

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