I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize