shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
