He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
