i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
