I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
