You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
