Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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