He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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