This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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