Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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