dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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