So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize