I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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