you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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