What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My penis needs a shock collar
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
