What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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