Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Say something about gay babies.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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