i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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