I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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