Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
