I am full of burrito and curiosity
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think my moral compass just broke
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
