i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize