there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
